While you might think a plan begins with a to-do list, I believe a plan begins with a what-do-you-want-to-do list.  Yes, the economy sucks and jobs are few, but you still have to decide where you are headed with this job thing.  If you don’t,  your 15 year old is likely to commit to about five minimum wage hours a week on a parks crew to which you will have to ferry her, while three blocks away is a twenty hour a week babysitting gig that suits her love of children much better.

Here are the questions for discussion.

1. What are your goals for the summer job? (Not just your child’s goals, but yours.)

If this is the very first job ever ever, the most important thing is that your child have a good experience, learn some lessons about work in general, and build some lasting relationships for the future.  But, if money is tight in your house and this job has to be about earning and saving as much as he or she can, that may mean that everything (except his or her safety) is sacrificed for earnings.  If your son or daughter has a lifelong career dream, exposure to that career path may be paramount.  The specific need sets the stage for setting goals.  All jobs and all goals are not alike; to get the right job, you must have the right goal.

1. How will the job fit into your family’s summer plan?

This simple question rarely gets a simple answer.  Unless the child’s job is a priority for you, things will go badly when a.) there is no transportation to the child’s job, b.) your vacation plans interfere with work, c.) you try to become the boss of the job and set the schedule, d.) you want an emergency babysitter who is scheduled to be an usher at the local Muvico in ten minutes, and e.) you decide to teach a lesson by not waking someone up for an early shift.

Believe me when I tell you that many employers these days rank young people the absolute least desirable among job candidates, even for jobs that are traditional starter roles in the world of work.  Why?   Because they don’t come to work and often they don’t come to work because a parent doesn’t get them there.  Or worse, a parent chooses to divert them from working.  Reliability has to be the brand stamped on your child’s forehead; it is the number one desirable competency from the employer’s point of view.

1. Why should someone hire your son or daughter?

Your son or daughter will tell the prospective employer whatever they hear you say.  Is your son the strongest kid on the wrestling team?  The best leader?  The one who does his homework before dinner and before hanging out?  Is your daughter the fastest blader on wheels?  A fashion superstar?  The nicest girl you know?  An expert painter?  Brilliant on the computer? What you say about them to your friends and what they hear you say is their core strength is what they believe and what they repeat.  Whether they or whether you take primary responsibility for finding the summer job, discuss the answers to the question before it is asked.

Most intelligence about available summer jobs comes through connections, yours or your child’s, but the actual hiring is a function of good eye contact, a confident story told by the child that reflects what the community already knows about him or her, and the hiring manager’s belief that this particular child will show up and get the job done.

Therefore, the discussion you have in the course of planning should focus on goals, on how you will support the relationship between your child and the employer, and how your son or daughter will fit into the workplace, given his or her particular strengths and skills.  Jobs may be scarce, but armed with a plan and your leadership your son or daughter can be among the lucky kids to land a gig for the summer.

Here are some of the major players you might encounter:

Headhunter.  A “headhunter” is a recruiter who works for himself or herself or a major (or minor) headhunting firm.  A retained search firm is paid (usually a percentage of the job’s annual cash compensation) whether or not they place a candidate.  A contingency recruiter is paid similarly, but only if his or her candidate is placed.

You might first hear from a headhunter’s researcher whose job it is to qualify you or get your ideas for leads, if you yourself prove to be wrong for the opportunity.  The researcher is highly oriented to recruiting—the message is that you are great, the job is great, the company is fabulous.  You are her new best friend;  you will discover you have many friends in common. The actual account manager, though, is more likely to winnow.  Both have a stake in your positive vibes, but also a stake in both your deliverability (are you really interested?) and your suitability (are you right for the company and the job?)

Contract recruiter. A contract recruiter is screening potential candidates who’ve landed in a pool, through the company;s outreach activities.  Might have been advertising, might have been a file search, might have been a job fair, but the contract recruiter (who is not an employee of the company) has a crowd to turn into a qualified few.  He or she is criteria-oriented by definition—the contract determines the task.  Contract recruiters are usually paid by the hour or perhaps by the day, week, or month.

Company recruiter. This person is definitely a company asset, with lots of knowledge and lots of enthusiasm for getting and keeping you interested.  This is someone—who may or may not have the title of recruiter—who probably has some say into the selection pool, but is more likely the professional who keeps it all moving and makes sure the company gets its value and the candidate gets treated right.  He or she is deeply concerned with what you think of the company, and also knows that it isn’t over until it’s over, so is inclined to keep you interested all the way to the end.  And then some.

HR Manager.  This is another level of HR involvement that may or may not happen; sometimes it’s a recruiter’s boss, sometimes it’s a hiring manager’s HR Business Partner, depending on the size of the company or the level of the job for which you are being considered.  Probably an influencer with power; don’t be fooled by the authentic interest in you as a person.

Hiring Manager. This is a (maybe THE) decision-maker, who might go by any number of titles, including manager, director, vice president, owner, or boss.   Assume that this is by definition the person who narrows the field to one.

Selection Committee Member or Selection Committee Chair. The name says it all.  The people who see these people, if a committee is being used, are in one of the selection rounds.  You might see such a group all at once, or one at a time.  Some will be in recruitment mode, some will be examining you with a microscope.

The Big Boss.   This is the honcho who gets to say, at the last minute, either, “wow, everybody did a great job; I like her (or him),” or “what were you people thinking?”  Screw this one up at your peril; it looks like a pleasant lunch at the local white table cloth restaurant, but it probably isn’t.  Selection masquerading as recruiting.

Stay tuned in to who you are talking to, and who is talking to you.  By the time you get to the hiring manager, you can think of yourself as a real candidate.  Until then, you are being recruited into a pool, and then a slightly smaller pool.  Pools aren’t jobs, so don’t get ahead of yourself.

Assume you are being asked a sincere question; while it may or may not be a simple formality, it is another chance to increase the likelihood of your being asked to join the next step of the selection process.  As in, “I liked him/her.  Let’s ask him/her to come back.”

I’ve been asked some really challenging and intricate questions, all of which I tried to answer.  Sometimes, the candidate’s question was intended to make the candidate look really smart and in-the-know.  Sometimes, first round candidates refer to a list of detailed questions brought to the interview, all with proprietary and off-limits answers.  Sometimes, early stage candidates really want to know if they can have three weeks off this August for Cousin Heather’s wedding in Ireland.

You have a lot of choices here.  Let me give you some guidance.

1.  Don’t compose and then ask a question you think will make you look good, whatever you think “good” is.  The result will be that you won’t listen to the answer, and an interviewer can see in your eyes that you are not listening.  That reveals that it wasn’t a real question, and that you aren’t all that authentic.

2.  Don’t ask technical questions of nontechnical people.  It can make them feel challenged, and not in a good way.

3.  All questions about compensation, benefits (including vacation and other time off), perquisites, career paths, and required hours of work and travel should be saved until you are the selected candidate with an offer letter in your hand.

4.  Don’t ask questions about proprietary matters.  It makes you look naive.

5.  Don’t read the annual report and then fabricate general or specific questions about the contents. (Unless you are interviewing for the CFO or Treasurer job, and the headhunter suggests that it’s best if you pose the question directly.)

6.  Don’t work from a written list, although a quick note to yourself that allows you to refrain from interrupting an interviewer is okay.  Written lists look more painstaking than is necessary, and a bit overprepared.

7.  Don’t throw hardballs.

The general rule is that the first two interviews are for the benefit of the employer, and the last two are more than likely your own chance to evaluate.  If that holds true, you are freer to ask more questions if you are still in the running after two interviews.  At that point, you should be evaluating your own interest in and ability to do the job, though, not the size of the compensation package or the availability of the first week in July for your trip to St. Pete.  Your questions can cover scope of the job, resources available (including staff, time, budget, information, etc.).   Departmental goals, company culture, traditions:  all good subjects if they haven’t already been covered.

Remember that the best interview is a good conversation, and proceed accordingly.

1.  You can and should ask the interviewer about himself or herself, how long he/she’s worked there, why he/she joined, what he/she likes best about the company, industry, or work.

2.  You can and should ask about the decision-making process, how many steps there are, where they are in the process, and when they expect to have the job filled.

3.  You can ask how they chose you for an interview and what they like about your background.  Once this question has been answered, you can’t let the answer hang in the air, though, you have to at least state your belief that you are a good fit for the company or what you like about the prospect of working for this particular company.  It’s a question that has to have reciprocity for closure.  You must choose each other.

And, you may use the answers to the above suggested questions to inform the content of your thank you letter.  Drawing comparisons between you and their needs is a time-honored strategy, but hard to accomplish if you haven’t asked questions that will lead you to a good letter.

Your questions are more likely to be remembered than many of your answers will be, simply because the interviewer is paying more attention to you in this part of the interview; you have more control in this phase, so use your power wisely and strategically.  Make a friend, be relaxed, smile, lean forward, thank the interviewer.

Above all, be spontaneous, authentic, and friendly.  Your main job at all times is to stay in the running–decisions aren’t made until the end of the process, and lots of things can happen between any given moment and the last minute.

Next blog:  Who’s who in the process?

Yes.  And you should, in the best of worlds, have some answers.  Here are the three big questions I was questioned about this month:

1.  What are your weaknesses? (Also masquerades as “If we hire you, what will we say is not your best attribute or feature when we review your performance in six months?)

I think by now we all know that you can’t answer this like Michael Scott, “ I work too hard. I care too much. And sometimes I can be too invested in my job.”  So what are your weaknesses…and what are you doing about them?  That’s what’s important.  Don’t answer the question without adding the information that you are totally on to yourself and working on your lack of self confidence, conflict avoidance, feedback dependence, whatever it is.

Your role in the interview is to establish a rapport and participate in a conversation that will get you to the next level of the selection process.  So when you are asked this question, which usually comes up in the earlier rounds of the process, my suggestion is to answer truthfully, with a sense of humor, by admitting who you are.  Perhaps you can be too direct in dealing with others (and are working on broadening your range or softening your delivery for those who are left breathless by your skewering).  Maybe you have strong opinions, and are practicing better listening skills.  Perhaps you are soft spoken and are taking speech lessons.  Or you are less confident than you would like to be, hence the setting of goals that take you toward new experiences.

Do you see where I’m going?  Truthful, but self aware, and working on your performance is who you want to be and who you want to present.  Be prepared to be asked for an example of your deficiency in action, along with what you learned from the experience and what you did differently.

2.  Have you ever been fired from a job?

This is a yes or no answer; don’t volunteer more than you must.  If the answer is no, we can agree you can skip this section.

If the answer is yes, but you reached an agreement with the employer who will now represent your termination as a resignation, the answer is actually no.  Apparently you resigned.

If the answer is yes, but you have no such agreement and have no idea what the terminating employer will say about you, the answer is yes.

When the answer is yes, you have to explain this yourself, in a way that is a.) brief, b.) honest, but careful, and c.) acknowledges (calmly) that there are differing viewpoints on what happened and what should have happened.  Calm is the operative word here.  People get fired; life goes on.  It’s a bigger deal to you than it is to anyone else.

Memorize this:  “I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was probably one of the best things that could have happened.  I learned so much.”  Of course, be prepared to list all the good things that you learned and all of the blessings that accrued from this unfortunate misunderstanding.  I hope that, if you didn’t already know it, when you practice saying it with conviction you realize it is true.

But: Do. Not. Lie.  It is never worth the risk.

3.  Where do you see yourself in five years?

“In the Bahamas, on a beach.  Ha!”   (wrong)

“In your job.  Ha ha!”      (also wrong)

“I don’t know; my spouse is a professional also and she/he has the better job and bigger income.”  (OMG, really?)

“In this job.”  (really?  okay, depends on the job, but maybe. . .)

“I have career goals that could take me in one direction or another, but I’d like to stay with the same company.”   (very good)

“Right now I’m focused on this opportunity and learning as much as I can about the (company, industry, profession).”  (also good)

“Eventually I’d like to move into (Finance, Operations, Management).  One reason I’m interested in this job and company is that I know you nurture and promote talent; that’s one of the reasons I’m interested.”  (very very good)

But here is an alternative strategy for you.  Do your homework extremely thoroughly and extraordinarily well, and answer in the context of the company and the job you want:

“Working right here for the market leader!  Here are my ideas.”

“I’d like to have built the world class HR department you want. Here’s what I think it will look like.”

“I think by then we should be outpacing the rest of the region by about 80%. Here’s how.”

“We’ll have trimmed expenses and maximized our systems.”

“I’d like to have set some serious performance records.”

“Launched three new products/services.”

“Solved the industry’s worst problems.”

All better than anything you might say for yourself about your personal goals.  But remember this–no matter what strategy you choose, it isn’t okay to deliver a one sentence answer and sit back and wait for the next question.  You’re in a conversation with a decision-maker who has asked you about you.  This is your chance to separate yourself from the rest of the pack.  If it were me, I’d talk about me in the job and career I want.

The point of the interview is to get you to the next step of the process; that’s a function of developing rapport, building a relationship, and avoiding self-inflicted damage.

Next blog: What questions should you ask the interviewer?

A gig can keep you earning, producing income and maintaining the balance of your reserves, as well as keep you busy and out of your own head.  No one can conduct career management or a job search as if it were a job, despite what the old outplacement professionals used to advise.  ”Your new job is finding a job” suggests a level of manageability and control that isn’t realistic, and a pace that never was.  The pace that’s implied in a day in and day out job search will quickly produce boredom, desperation, and bad judgment, not to mention a reduction in self confidence.

Some of the best candidates I’ve ever interviewed were individuals who had taken a detour or a side road to get where they were going.  Relaxed, self confident, and good humored, these individuals could cite the best things about selling on Ebay, substitute teaching, coaching troubled kids, working in retail stores, painting houses, tending bar.   Not anyone’s first career choice, a gig nonetheless can keep you sane, humble, active, and curious, while paying bills and remaining connected to the world.

A gig might be in your career field, but if it is you have to be extremely careful to choose something that isn’t too close to the real job you want.  For example, if you were a CFO and the gig you choose is doing the books for a nonprofit, you’re fine.  But if you accept a job as Director of Accounting, that’s not a gig.  It might make sense for other reasons–you were CFO of a $70M company and the Director of Accounting job is with a $6B corporation.  But it’s not a gig.  You may also switch industries and take steps backward; you can change fields and take steps back: not a gig, a job.

And there are other obligations and conventions:

1.  You have to acknowledge the temporary nature of the gig, for you.  Your fellow workers may not be so temporary, and it isn’t okay to pretend you aren’t.  There are a few exceptions to this: when it’s obvious (you are a PhD botanist working on a landscaping crew), when you are making a total career change and starting at the very bottom (you are a caterer en route to becoming an executive chef, working in a kitchen), or the job is advertised as temporary (you are an accountant working as a substitute math teacher).

2.  Think about what happens when you leave the gig, because the gig remains in your employment history and the folks you worked for become references.  So communicate in such a way that you get a send off celebration when you move on, instead of daggers in your back as the result of all that expensive training they wasted on you.

3.  The gig has to have a story that goes with it, a thing you tell everyone about.  You have to justify this and you have to make it work.  Authenticity is what it’s all about.  The story is the answer to the question, “so what are you doing now?” when it’s asked in the course of your networking meetings, which are now scheduled around your gig.  ”Working at Home Depot, for the discount on our new kitchen,” is a good one, so is “working at the hospital while I decide which graduate school for public health to apply to” is also great.  Another approach: “We have very tight investment goals, so I’m working to keep my money working!”  I love that one.  And I’ve only heard it once, but knowing the person who said it, I knew it was not only true, but evidence of her drive.

4.  Do not get too comfy.  If you complain about the boss, working conditions, pay, schedule, or break room, you are in trouble.  And you can make suggestions about improving business, but under no circumstances can you wonder why or complain that your ideas haven’t been adopted.

5.  Your coworkers are in jobs, not gigs; you aren’t better and you aren’t worse.  They are fellow travelers.  If you’ve handled this right, you won’t make them look bad and you will work to make all of you look good.

6.  Plan your exit at the beginning of the gig and stick to the plan.  Do not stop your job search process; do not change your career identity without a specific plan.

7.  On your resume, or in your cover letter, a gig has to be handled carefully but directly.  I might keep it off the resume and put the short version of the story in your cover letter.

8.  When you encounter network connections in the course of the gig–like the head of the company you want to work for showing up at the bar you are tending one afternoon, know you can’t blurt your story right there.  Your first obligation is to your coworkers, boss, and the owner of the business from which your paycheck springs forth.   There is plenty of time, and more than one route to explaining yourself.  Career moves emerge from relationships, not the other way around.

9.  Keep track of new skills and new learning; think about what you are accomplishing, and talk about it to your friends and family.  Set a good example for others; don’t apologize for the path you took.

10.  If you hate the gig, get a different gig.  Gigs are like that; short and sweet, easy to get and easy to leave.  Take advantage of the gig, politely, of course.  Don’t do anything you really hate for any length of time.

Above all, a gig should fuel creativity and make you feel a little like a fugitive from your real life.  Go for it and don’t look back.

But somewhere in your soul, heart, or brain, there’s one thing you know you’d like to resolve, one thing that is either huge or tiny, or huge and tiny all at once. Think about taking that one thing on this year.  After the clock strikes and after you’ve had some breakfast you can make a list of more concrete goals. But the one thing that is at the top of your mind is probably all you really have to take on.

Career-wise, we all know about the lurking change we eventually have to make. Are you addicted to your frequent flying? Are you authority resistant? Do you wait until the last minute to start your work and apologetic about its quality when you hand it over? Do you avoid conflict, say obnoxious things to others, fail to show up when you said you would, or obsess over relationships and react disproportionately to inconvenience? Are you indecisive, a procrastinator, a blamer? Do you take over projects instead of facilitating, do you hold back information, do you elude necessary interactions until others come to you? Do you think no one notices?

And you thought I was going to say you should simply cut back on your cigarettes and drinking, or watch your weight, like Bridget Jones.

Nope. The real problem or real opportunity always lies deeper and we always know it’s there. Some suggestions:

1. Resolve to be honest with yourself.

2. Resolve to involve others in your planning and decision-making.

3. Resolve to ask questions about how others view your view.

4. Resolve to live in the world, not in your own head.

5. Resolve to listen for understanding, not opportunistically.

6. Resolve to live in the present, not the past or the future, and to make your contributions in the here and now.

7. Resolve to live up to your potential, to use your power for good, to choose your words wisely.

8. Resolve to be proactive, to keep a level head, to avoid drama.

9. Resolve to forgive.

10. Resolve to lighten the loads of others whenever possible.

None of these are very specific, but you know when the specific behavior is in play and when it isn’t, because you are you. You can control almost everything you do; so it is indeed possible to do it all differently, whether it comes naturally or not.

Break your bad habit—by first acknowledging that it is bad, or at least unproductive.

After that, quit smoking, cut back on your drinking, count your calories, get more exercise. Happy New Year.

There are rules.   Some are written; some are not.  Either way, if you want to be at the top of your game, make your own and stick to them.  Here are my suggestions:

1.  Set goals for the season.  What do you want to be for this holiday?  Memorable in a good way?  Memorable in a bad way?  Decide and proceed; knowing in advance what you hope to accomplish makes it easier to decide what to wear to the party, what to gift, and what to say when asked something highly inappropriate by a valued customer. 

2.  If you are working, even as a volunteer or part time, make a budget for holiday gifts, contributions, and celebrations (including party wear) and make it manageable and even-handed.  Stay in the same price range across the board; no splurges on the boss or the office bff.  It’s not necessary and it sends the wrong message.  If you have no money (and after all, who does?) bake something, or spend some time researching a really creative and inexpensive approach (childrens toys, sale table books, mix cd’s, a playlist) that is specially tailored to the recipients.   If your budget is $0, you ought nonetheless to acknowledge those around you with a note or a nice photo, or a card. 

3.  No complaining about the holidays, your family, your time management  problems, your relatives, your undone chores, the weather, the schedule, blah blah blah.  No one wants to hear it and it doesn’t matter.  You won’t feel better for having articulated your personal woe, and neither will anyone else. 

4.  Make a special party plan.  Assume any work related or professional organization party is an informal interview for whatever your next career step might be, so, talk to everyone, introduce yourself and your spouse or guest around to the others, and make sure he or she is having a good time.    Attend work related parties unaccompanied if it’s easier on everyone.  Budget your own use of alcohol and don’t spend your whole budget in one place or on one night:  career killing words and deeds are just waiting for the next drink.  If you find yourself where others are doing and saying things that they will wish you hadn’t seen or heard:  Leave.  There.  Immediately.  Nothing to be gained by being able to say the truth or being the One Who Remembers it All.  

5.  Don’t wear party clothes to work.  

6.  Don’t assume that everyone celebrates your holiday, or any holiday.  Although it’s the subject of lots of holiday jokes, political incorrectness is a risk you don’t have to take.  Instead of saying Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah, just say “Cheers.” 

7.  If you are working, resist the urge to leave early more than once or twice, no matter how much clout your position or tenure has earned you.  Volunteer once or twice to cover someone else’s needs. 

8.   Resist the urge to be critical of those who use the holidays as an excuse to be a pain in the ass.  Just let it go and don’t talk about them.

9.  No, this is not a very good time to be job hunting or networking.  The rule is that if you connect with a prospective employer, network contact, or potential career helper or mentor, ask the question, “Can I call you after the first of the year, or would you advise that I do so sooner?”   Do not call the next day unless you are specifically instructed to do so.   

10.  Most important, spend as much time as you can with your friends and family.  Be the calm and stable one, the reliable source of cheer and joy.  Be the one who makes it nicer for everyone else.

Cheers!

If this is you, I have some ideas for you.  Not career ideas—your bliss is your own, and I can’t tell you how to decide.  What I can tell you is that you should not leave a conversation with anyone who asks about your career plans without that person’s commitment to do something for you.  People who show interest in you are valuable resources.  “I don’t know” may be an honest answer to the question of what your plans are, but it is not the right answer.  Networking—in a very real sense—begins with a question like “What are your plans for a career?”

You need a plan for answering the question.

A search for a career or profession is not unlike sales—your objective is to find a need you can fill, using your unique talent and skill.  As romantic as the notion of a perfect career match is, you will never figure out what you want to do if you really do not know the answer, or know how to come to an answer.  What you will do—eventually—is respond to an economic imperative and decide what you will do to support yourself.  The person asking about your plans is there to help.  I don’t think you should waste such an opportunity, or postpone the chance to practice new skills that such an opportunity represents.

Your objectives in this situation are simple:  to start a conversation about you, to establish yourself as a memorable resource, to begin or strengthen a relationship, and to come away with a commitment from the person who expressed interest in you.

The first words out of your mouth should be, “Thank you for asking!”  All too often, people like me feel bad just for having asked, as the question is met with a grimace, a duck of the head, and a pained, “Oh, don’t ask. I don’t know!” Not a starter, for sure.

 The next words are, “I’m excited about my future,” said with a smile.  Excitement can be contagious. A future is something to be excited about.

 After that, “I’m looking at a few options, and I might really benefit from your help,”   moving toward asking for a commitment without putting anyone on the spot.

 You are right, the real question you were asked was “is there anything I can do to help you, inasmuch as I am in a position to help, and so far you have impressed me as someone I might want to help.”

 Here is where your plan is going to be useful.  By now, you know what you are good at, what others have complimented you on for doing well, and what your friends, parents, and teachers say about you.  This is where you specifically don’t identify a profession, because you haven’t yet chosen one, but instead you say:

 “I love to. . . . (Solve problems, build teams, learn new skills, work toward a goal, build relationships, plan the details of a project, research, write, coach, work independently, raise money, serve the public, work with kids. . .)

And I’m looking for opportunities in . . .(Business, Government, Nonprofit, Health care, Education, Law, this country, state, county, city, neighborhood. . . )

Where I can get started and work like crazy under someone willing to teach me how to be the best.”

Yes, there are decisions inherent in this plan that you have to make—so make them; just decide.  A decision like this at this time in your life is not a mistake; it’s a choice, for now.  You can’t be all things to all people, and you can’t pick everything.  You do have to know—and make some small commitment to doing—what you are good at, that others value.  If you are not sure, ask parents and teachers, friends, former bosses or coaches, or just decide on what you believe.  But you must choose, at least broadly, and at least for the  moment.

The important thing is to establish yourself as a reliable and willing professional-to-be who understands that every institution on the planet has an economic life that has to be sustained in order for it to deliver on its mission.  You, as the bright ball of energy you are, are up for providing your talents and skills in exchange for learning, and a paycheck.

But, if your dilemma, your “I don’t know what I want to be or do” funk is simply that the thought of work in a structured setting is a pain you might be able to avoid if you just don’t commit to a specific setting . . .   

If your declaration that you are good at so many things that settling on just one seems unfair to the others makes sense to you. . .

If you are thinking of going to graduate school or law school, or design school, or nursing school, just to delay, not begin, your yet-unchosen career. . .

If any of these rings a bell, realize that you have a time management problem.  Job-wise, we have only so many early career years in which to fall slightly behind or get slightly ahead of the other go-getters in our generational cohort.  These are earning years, whether the earning is real dollars, real influence, real learning, or real experience.  You cannot make the time up; once it is gone, it is gone for good.

Time rolls on, and things change daily.  What you had back then—your academic record, awards, achievements—soon begins to look less up-to-date, less fresh, less competitive in the market.  There is a crop of new graduates right behind you and one behind them, and so on.  There are no jobs that are great all of the time unless you truly love work and all the learning and growing it brings into your life, no matter how far from your perfect job or dream career you actually land. 

Career launching jobs are never perfect, and most entry level jobs are detail driven and feel very distant from the creative and stimulating academic life we have to leave.  But interesting people who land in uninteresting jobs make them perfect for now, by finding the learning and the fun in them for themselves and the others they find there.   That’s leadership practice that translates to leadership experience.

The first step in planning your career is not deciding what you want to do—it’s beginning the conversation about all your exciting choices, with the people most likely to help you get going.  It’s a start.

For example, suppose you want to be a Human Resources professional, and you are interviewing for an employee relations job. Now, employee relations is usually the section of the HR department where they write and administer the handbooks, policy, and problem solving procedure. Employee Relations folks are likely to need patience, the ability to defuse tension, an eye for detail, and tolerance for what others might regard as mind numbing discussions of who did what to whom and why. They care about justice and are generally good at relationships.

If you want such a job, you would also want to be prepared to be asked questions like:

Was there ever a time when you were confronted by an angry person  who demanded your immediate attention on a matter of great detail and who publicly threatened you? (Situation) If so, tell me what you saw that needed to be done and why (Task) and what you did (Action). What was the Result?

The point is that if the interviewer asked, “How do you handle the anger of others?” you would be likely to say something like, “I’m the kind of guy/woman who doesn’t back down.” At which point you and the interviewer would begin a time honored ritual of trying to understand each other. Frankly, no one but you knows what you mean when you say you won’t back down. Is that like Tom Petty won’t back down or like Katie Couric won’t back down? As you can see, it’s not illustrative.

A story is what is required here, a story about a definitive moment in your life or career when your special skills were called upon and you either successfully or unsuccessfully pulled them out and put them to use. Good storytelling skills can help you–not in redrafting the stories of your life, but in relating them with adequate brevity, focus, organization, and color. Storytelling for career development is a critical skill and a competitive advantage.

There are other reasons to learn to tell good stories–mentors find that illustrative stories are softer learning tools that are less direct and more personal. Leaders often use inspiring stories to make a point and set a culture. Recruiters tell motivating stories to make you want to go to work for a company or executive. You need to tell a good story to show who you are and why you should go to the next step for the job you want.

There are lots of good books about storytelling, written by storytelling professionals; you should get to know something about the topic in general. But here is my advice about responding to STAR interview questions with an effective story.

1. Do your homework. What do you think the job requires? Do you have it? When did you last use it? What did that look like?

2. You are the hero of this story, whether you are comfortable with that or not. This is not a time to downplay your role. You are describing yourself–by telling both what you did, and revealing what you did not do. Remember this: one of the more effective aspects of behavioral interviewing is that it allows the interviewer to observe what you did not do–you can’t hide what is not there.

3. Be brief. The color of your shoes and the name of the street you were on probably are not relevant, so you can leave them out.

4. Focus on what you want to communicate–your behavior and how it affected/effected the outcome you wanted, or, if you are a huge risk taker, how it caused exactly what you didn’t want and what you learned from that. Tempting. I wouldn’t, but we’re all different.

5. Stay organized; provide details in order. Don’t throw in a flashback or surprise ending or you will spend the next ten precious minutes regrouping.

6. Keep the drama to a minimum–do not make faces, add tone to your voice, or wave your hands around. All of these diminsh the quality of your words.

7. The story should be self explanatory. You should not have to go back and explain how this anecdote relates to the question you were asked. If you have to, know you missed the mark, but your best bet is to provide only two more sentences: “Well, here’s what I learned from this experience: (add learning here).”

You can practice this. You can learn to think in stories and STARS. Since the best interviews turn out to be conversations, your goal is to tell a story that lifts up your conversation, lengthens it, and gets you asked back for another, and another.  Good storytellers are warm and a little fearless when they reveal details about themselves.  Don’t apologize, defend yourself, or alter the details after you’ve provided them.  A credible story is always better than a careful one–you are human, after all, and it is your story.

What are your resources?  How do you manage them?  Resources, for this purpose, include time, people and organizations,  information,  money,  and the physical environment.  Everything you do in pursuit of your employment objective is going to involve managing one or several of those things.  The better you manage them, the better the outcome.

What do we mean, manage resources?  It means that you first recognize that you have a finite supply of everything, including things like your friends’ goodwill, so you have to make sure that you budget, that you leverage and deploy  whatever you have appropriately and effectively, and that you monitor your resource balance to make sure 1.) you are treating all of your resources with respect,  2.) you are not about to suddenly run out of what you need, just when you need it, and 3.) that you are replenishing your supply. 

What does resource management look like? 

Time management is a pretty time honored concept.  Most folks think of it in terms of days, weeks, months, as in your weekly planner, daily to-do list, monthly or quarterly goals.  But what about time management in the sense of your youth, your high earning years, or your middle age?  In a job and career sense you have only so many temporal hiding places, only so many chances to work abroad, stay put until the kids finish high school, or sit tight until the right opening presents itself. 

Information management is not just information technology.  Managing information includes how much you share about yourself, how much you keep to yourself for lots of good reasons.  Information is what you need before you start networking, not what you get when you network, thoughyou may stumble over useful tidbits from time to time.  How you gather and use information, how you organize and communicate what you know, how you process–that’s all information management.

Physical environment: your nonliving and nonvirtual resources–your phone, your computer, your home, your car, and the like.  Usually, it’s the physical environment that trips you up when you least expect it.  Don’t believe me?  When was the last time you backed up your contacts file?  Ran your antivirus software?  Dumped your garbage files?  Or–have you investigated that leaky tire on the car, dry cleaned the interview outfit, or shined your shoes?  How about your paper files?  Business cards?  Workspace? all organized?

Money management It’s a biggie, no doubt about it.  Include in the management of your funds items like your frequent flyer miles, your housing costs, your financial decisions.  If, for example, you find yourself unable to take advantage of an opportunity in New Jersey becasue you are figuratively underwater in your home in Florida, we’d call that a money management effect on your career.  The point of conserving your resources is so that they will be there to meet your needs, whatever they are and whenever they happen.  You can’t stretch them past the breaking point, or fake them. 

People and organizational resources– relationships.  Oh, are these ever important.  If you have left a trail of dead or broken bodies in your wake, you will soon find how unimportant were some of those points you just had to make, or arguments you had to win.  Career-wise, nothing is more important than people who like you and want you to succeed.  I think of a family, for example,  as an organization.  A family requires management, and doing this well will spare you the grief that comes from doing whatever feels good and expecting it will pay off job-wise.  It won’t. 

Usually, we manage relationships, not people themselves, and if you take good care of your relationships you will find that they are there for you over many years and more than one career.  That means holding up your end of the friendship, being there for people, keeping the relationship alive and well.  

But who is the most important resource in your career?  You are.  And as such, you have an obligation to manage yourself, to stay healthy, learn endlessly, and grow with determination.   Managing yourself is the hardest thing you will do–it does take discipline, it does require self control and it does involve making difficult choices when you’d rather make the simple one and just do what you feel like doing.  The payoff is far away and the results are not easy to see right away.  But self discipline is the tool you can count on all the time–once you have it.