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Assorted Reminders: Don’t Do This!

In no particular order, here is a Monday’s worth of warnings, just for you:

Do not put your high school accomplishments or activities–or even your diploma–on your resume, after you have graduated from college.  Unless your high school alma mater is a well known prep school, in which case you should place it on your resume.

Do not use words on your resume that are esoteric or likely to be unfamiliar to most of your target readers.  If you are an Oenophile or Philatelist, keep it to yourself.

Do not establish your career objective based on the career interests and career  possibilities of anyone but you.

Do not keep your ideas and plans in your head; discuss them, flesh them out, research them,  and write them down.

Do not be so competitive that no one ever wants to help you.  Or even be around you.  It is absolutely true that what goes around, comes around.

Do not let three days go by, following an interview, without sending a handwritten thank you note to the person who interviewed you, and if appropriate, the person who helped you get the interview.  Even if it was a parent or other relative.

Do not deny your parents and close friends the chance to help you realize your dreams.  Your innermost circle is THE segment of your growing network  most likely to connect you with the job you dream about.

Do not disclose too much in your networking or in your interviews.  When the interviewer asks  ”Is there anything else you’d like to mention or that you think I need to know?”, unless there is a Pulitzer prize or an Emmy or the equivalent that hadn’t come up in the conversation yet, the answer is “I don’t think so.”  TMI is TMI, for real.  It isn’t the information that is the problem; it’s the moving of the boundary.

Career Changers, Do Not Linger in your old comfort zone.  You made this transition for a good reason; let go the artifacts of the old space and stop playing the old songs.

Do not wait for a job posting or other apparent invitation to seek and ask for the job you want.  In fact, this is a good place to put that competitive spirit to work:  Get there before the job is posted and you can rule the world.

Do not help yourself. If you are left alone in a room with candy, food, or drink, do not assume it is for you.  Always wait to be offered, whatever it is that you think you should have.  Including a seat.

Do not pretend you heard or understood something you did not hear or understand.  I once spent a dinner interview apologizing to my soft-spoken British interviewer, because I did not understand a single word he said or question he asked.  He is still a dear friend, but now I can figure out what he is talking about (most of the time).

Do not fail to check your resume word for word and line by line.  Your interest is martial arts, not marital arts, and your spell checking software would not likely catch that.

Do not accept interviews with employers you don’t want to work for, for jobs you don’t want to do, no matter what.  No matter what; I would not mislead you.  If you do this, you will do very poorly in the interview and you will be totally bummed out that even the jobs you don’t want, don’t want you.

Everybody makes mistakes, but not everyone corrects mistakes.  The job search requires a certain number of silly or stupid mistakes–it’s like a rite of passage, getting your stupid out so that you can do better.

So, go forth, and do better.

Think About What You Publish

Your career development and job search processes will involve publishing. When I say publishing, I mean publishing in the sense of planning, writing, producing, and sending forth into the world written words that represent you. You might publish letters, resumes, a blog, a Facebook page, a website, a LinkedIn profile, a series of articles, or other representations that can help you–or disadvantage you–in your career quest.

Life used to be simpler; a resume was a cream colored vellum page with black ink.  It left your hands in an envelope, to join a pile of other similar resumes, most of them also cream vellum.  It usually got photocopied, by the way, so that the decision maker had the copy paper version anyway, and the quality of the copier and its paper could undermine your publishing investment.

Now, you need a publishing strategy to get your stuff noticed.  And you have a lot of choices.  But the little things can still undo your careful plans.  Here are five things about publishing that people often get wrong.

1.  A lot of people say that your resume should be no more than one page.  This is not true, and is especially not true if you begin to have trouble condensing it to one page or even thinking about doing that.  Here’s the thing:  it’s not about the number of pages.  It’s about what is on the pages and in your description of where you’ve been and what you’ve done.

I believe in brevity (sort of).  I had a wonderful English teacher in 11th Grade, Mrs. Barone, who called me Brenda (which is not my name) and taught me to take words out of my sentences and paragraphs.  Even though they were often some of my best words (like brevity), I had to admit that the result was better writing.  But remember, if you take all the words away you may not tell the right story, and resumes have to tell a good story.

Your resume should be as long as it needs to be, to make the point of your  story to your reader.  Your resume walks hand in hand with your cover letter (always). Together they are your surrogate self, compelling someone to meet the real you and learn more.

2.  Some people say that your resume need not include irrelevant work experience, temporary work,  or irrelevant education.  First, I struggle with the notion that any work experience or education would or could be irrelevant. Your work or education story should not have holes or gaps.  Second, all it takes is one interview question about what you did that summer of ’06 for you to start stumbling all over your answer: that you didn’t think inbound call center sales and service was important enough to put on your resume.  If that happens, and it might, it will raise the question of what else you chose to exclude.  And it will raise suspicion, which is never good.

All work contributes to skills, competencies, and pride in your accomplishments in even the worst jobs or assignments you have ever had.  A resume that shouts “I love work!” is going to get you noticed.  Spelling out the point of each job–what you got paid or thanked for–makes clear you knew its value in the world.  Remember that: The value of the work to others is more important than the value of the job to you.

A good rule of thumb is that employment of a week or two, or less, can be left off your resume.  Another is that employment that is more than twenty years in the  past is far enough in the past to let go, unless in either of these situations, the work is a special honor or critical turning point.

3.  Some people think that you can rewrite the rules of composition to make your resume stand out, as long as you make up your own rules and apply them consistently. Don’t do that.

Mrs. Barone was a real grind when it came to the rules about grammar, spelling, word usage, syntax, punctuation, and capital letters.  But she was convincing, and Martha Snyder and I (who took her very seriously and responded well to being called by other people’s names) competed with each other for various high school composition prizes and honors, and we graduated from high school thinking we were set, composition-wise, for life.  Not so much, as it turns out; these style things change over time.  We all need to check on the rules and your best bet is to apply them correctly and consistently.

Invest in a stylebook and use it.  The AP Stylebook or Elements of Style are two of the best known references for writers of nearly anything.  Do not think for one minute that getting fancy and offbeat with your cover letters or resumes is a good idea; it isn’t worth the risk to drop the capital letters or skip the periods.  Or to add them in.  Noting that I often Blog Creatively, ignoring Mrs. Barone’s most basic rules, let me say that blogs aren’t resumes.

4. I am in favor of blogging to advance your career and your job search.  I am not among those who advise against putting your opinions and ideas out there–recognizing that “out there,” if it is too far out, can be limiting.  Blogs are accessible examples of your voice, your writing , and your personal brand.  Blogs are likely to be more fast and approximate than crafted and precise, but any time you advance your ideas you want to make sure that you represent your very very very best self (yes, I know, I left out the commas and insulted a perfectly good adjective). On the net, things linger.  If you do publish a blog, it should be noted on your resume.  If you don’t put it on your resume, it will be unearthed anyway, and lead to the question of why you didn’t mention it.

I once did some research on (Googled) an opponent in a Neighborhood Association/Land Development dispute.  I came across a letter he had written and posted to a website, on why women should not be admitted to a well-known exclusive men’s club.  It didn’t matter in the dispute, but I learned a little about my friend.  On to other online matters:  Facebook.

5.  A lot of people will tell you to stay off Facebook if you are looking for a job, or if you are serious about your career.  Not me.  I am on Facebook (but not as The Job Whisperer).  I am very careful (that is not to say guarded, which is different) about my comments, my likes, what I share, and what groups I join.  Anyone who friends me can see that I am interested in many political viewpoints, those I don’t agree with as well as those I do–because my Facebook friends are my Real friends from my whole life, and are all over the political map.  I have a variety of diverse interests represented on my page.  I am careful with my Privacy settings and I don’t post photos (or my travel plans).

Having a Facebook page is neither here nor there, but having good judgment is important.

Publishing is part of your personal brand offering.  There are many more opportunities to advance who you are and what you offer than ever before.  But that means taking careful stock of the impression you want to leave and the focus and consistency of your message, across all of your publications.  Little things–a comma here, a word choice there, a defining blog post–can make a big difference.

I Have a Great Career; Why Should I Get an MBA?

You are sailing along, in a job you love, with a terrific and successful company, the envy of your college friends and the pride of your loving family.  Every day is a good day, every meeting is energizing, every challenge results in a confirmation of your skill and a testament to your hard work.  So why would you head back to the classroom, why polish up your quantitative skills, why take the GMAT, and why find a way to spend your formerly spare time on homework, research, and papers?  Why commit to a challenging multi-year advanced business education?  Here’s an even dozen reasons why:

  1. You will learn, practice and master new and important skills that are (not surprisingly) relevant to your commercial life.  Even if you already have a lot of business experience, you will gain new depth and new perspectives.
  2. You will learn a new language.  Words you thought you understood take on new meanings and you participate in conversations at work with new filters and new comprehension.
  3. It provides you with a competitive credential that will have value for the rest of your career.  The MBA credential makes a very big difference in who you are, in the talent marketplace.
  4. You will discover talents, interests, skills, and aptitudes you did not know you had.  I promise you that you will uncover at least three things that you did not know about yourself that will probably change you in ways you did not expect.  And maybe change your life.
  5. And… you will discover things about yourself, surprising deficits, that you know you must change in order to be successful in the career you want.
  6. You will make new friends.  Friends.  Are.  Your.  Network.  I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but there are no LinkedIn, Facebook, or Spoke  connections or contacts that can ever replace—or help you as much as—your real friends.
  7. You learn what working in interdependent groups really means.  Whether you are the strong team player or the weaker one, or anywhere in between, you get the same lesson:  your fate is in the hands of the team.  It is a very important lesson.
  8. It is just so darn much fun!  Unlike jobs and workday work, school is organized around you and your need to learn.  That’s nourishing and pleasurable, even when it’s difficult.
  9. You will gain esteem for yourself and confidence in your capability, for having risen to and met a major intellectual challenge.  And if you get really good grades, you will really have a new perspective on what you can do.
  10. There is an important humbling element to realizing that you don’t know as much as you thought you did.  If you are exceptional at workplace politics, if you are popular for just being you, if you are an accomplished specialist, if you are a fast-rising star, or if you are merely brilliantly creative, an MBA program is a great place to locate your limits.  We all need to know what we don’t know and may never be able to learn.
  11. You will approach everything that happens in business more objectively.  You find out that what you thought was true, wasn’t; it was just your opinion, which you liked a lot.  This place of understanding comes through in your behavior and conversations, and people realize that you know things.  This is good for your career and for your leadership role.
  12. In the end, if you can do it, do it just because you can.  Opportunities don’t come along every day, and there is no time like now.  If you have space in your life and the means or support to take on the challenge of an MBA program, just do it.  If your employer is willing to support you in this endeavor, know that such support is like cash compensation, and willing employers who do that for employees are rare and getting scarcer.

Full disclosure—I went back to school to get an MBA in 2006 (shout out to Stetson University and my classmates) and I was pretty much older than everyone when I did that.  I loved it.  It was one of the best things I ever did; I just wish I’d done it sooner.

Throughout your career, when it comes to advancing your education, know that it gets harder to justify the time when you have the money.  And harder still to justify the money when you have the time.  Don’t wait as long as I did.

How to Start Networking, Today

I wrote yesterday’s post fully aware that it was not a recipe, but a Cook’s Illustrated style preamble to the recipe itself.   Before you bake a cake, for example, you have to be sure you have fresh baking powder, a couple of eggs in the fridge, and the right kind of flour.  At least.

But if you have never introduced yourself to someone you always wanted to meet, if you are not the one in your crowd who strikes up a conversation with the person in front of you in the check out line, then the steps don’t come naturally.

I don’t think that networking is my strongest suit; I especially don’t do that well when placed in the company of all-star networkers like those found in the Chambers of Commerce and Leadership organizations around the world.  Networking is a lot like flirting—it isn’t that substantial, it’s more of a process.  You can’t be serious or substantial when you do it.  You can’t be weighty.  Your needs can’t be the subject (or the predicate).

So here is a simple review of the process of networking.

Step 1.  Forget the word networking.  Just like the recipe has no place in the actual cake, at the end of the process, you will celebrate and enjoy your new friends, not your network.  Make the word go out of your head.

Step 2.  Identify your objective.  Do you want new friends, different friends and acquaintances, ideas, clients, information, facilitation, donations, more folks who know who you are?  If your only answer is that you want a job, think hard about what will happen when you get that job.  I can only say that I have spent a lot of time with people who befriended me in the interest of getting a job, who I never heard from again after they got it.

Step 3.  Create a database.  Oh this is so hard for people to do.  You must, must keep track of your connections and their contact information.  Make notes.

Step 4.  Set goals.  Meet new people every day, every week, or every month.  The time frame isn’t important, the goal and the filter is.  Your job is to meet people and get to know them and what they are interested in.  To share a moment and express your interest in them.  Ask where they got the blouse.  Note the book is one you have read and liked, or one you might be interested in reading.

Step 5.  Practice the art of making friends everywhere you go.  Start by smiling and making eye contact.  Strike up a conversation; if you do not get a response or the response you want, let it go and move on.

Step 6.  Call someone you don’t know, to ask for information.  No, I didn’t say email them.  Phone call, please.  Identify yourself.  Tell the person who answers the phone who you are calling and why.  If you get through to the person you want to speak with, thank him or her for taking the call.  Ask your question, get your answer, say thank you, say good bye.  Follow up with letter, note, or email.

This doesn’t always go the way you want.  You have to practice, you have to try, and you have to get comfortable.  I can’t stress enough that having a smile on your face will put a smile in your voice and will make you feel better no matter what the outcome.

Step 7.  Make a date.  “Can I buy you a latte?”  “Can we talk over lunch?”  “Would you like to come to our meeting?”  “Jan and I are putting together a group?”  Sooner or later you have to make a move.  Prepare more for the acceptance of your offer than for the rejection you might get.  The answer to the “no” is “perhaps another time; I’d love to get together.” And let it go; the next offer should come from them.

When you offer is accepted, get to the place of meeting first and wait for your acquaintance.  Pay for the coffee or lunch, or split the bill.  Keep your conversation low key.  Agree on your commonalities, but reserve the right to get to know someone and reflect on the meeting before you agree to anything else.  “Let me check with my (calendar, banker, spouse, assistant, or accountant) are all fair responses to most requests.  Then respond later as you wish.

Step 8.  Be honest with yourself.  Not all prospective friends can end up being friends.  Let it go as soon as you know it isn’t for you.  Some folks, if you hang with them long enough, will do more than just not be helpful:  they will hurt you.  Your instincts on this may be better than you realize—if you are not comfortable, let it go.

Step 9.  Circle back and stay in touch.  Don’t let too many people drift out of your life—time goes by very fast.  When you do reconnect, establish just how much time went by.  This is when a database can help.

Step 10.  Stay connected to people, but not to slights, wrongs, or hurts.  Sometimes a misunderstanding is just that.  Give folks a chance to grow and a chance to clear things up.  Get into the habit of sending a personal note or an email when you come across an interesting tidbit that might interest the other person.  Do not send your email lists links to spam.  Those jokes and funny writings that circulate are busily picking up URLs that will soon receive a fair amount of advertising garbage.

It is a little like dating, but making new friends is never exclusive.  It always leads to more friends, broader relationships and understanding, and a better understanding of yourself and what you can do for others.

How to Network

I was astonished to learn recently that several of my friends have closed their Facebook accounts because they didn’t like the trivial nature of the information supplied by their Facebook friends.  Of course, this is what I love—I’m the one who would rather hear what you are having for lunch than what you think of the health care bill, only because the second thing is such a minefield.  If Facebook is like the route you travel to work or school every day, then “what’s for dinner” is the small talk that makes each day a little more pleasant.  Just FYI, I like the photos of your pets and kids as well.

Networking takes many more forms than ever before.  But at the core of all networking is the act of connecting with another human on the basis of a shared moment.  Whether it’s online or on line in the local bakery, there are some basic networking skills and tools that will help you develop acquaintanceships that have friendship and networking potential.

  1. Show interest wherever you go, whoever you meet.  Curiosity is crucial to networking; if you aren’t interested in someone you can’t really hide that fact.  Be interested and you won’t even have to be interesting.
  2. Don’t assume anything.  We all think we want to look like we are insiders who have special insight, info, or connections.  Looking or acting like you have all that will help you?  Exactly how?  People use their influence for folks they want to help. . . and they decide who qualifies, not you.
  3. Write or speak with eye contact and a smile.  You don’t have to have a conversation with everyone, but think of yourself as one who promotes good will.  How to make figurative eye contact online?  Speak directly to the point and acknowledge the other(s).  And be nice.
  4. Before you friend someone online, or hand over your business card if you are in person, write a note (on it, if it is a real card), or somehow personalize the offering.
  5. When asked about your self, be modest, be moderate, be brief, and return the conversation to the other person or turn it to a third or fourth person who is present.  Don’t worry, you’ll be noticed and you’ll be remembered.
  6. Choose subjects that are easy, fun, neutral, interesting.  Of course, if your hobby or motives are political, you may want to educate.  And if that is the case, what you really want is the opportunity to change someone’s mind—so you’ll want to ask for permission to try to do so, and respect a firm no.  Wanting to be known as mean, stupid, pushy, arrogant, strident, closed-minded, or incredibly naïve would be an unusual networking goal.
  7. Practice, practice, practice.  Networking is another word for making new acquaintanceships (or renewing old connections) that may turn into friendships.  You cannot do it without taking risks.  You will make mistakes and from time to time you will look clumsy or awkward.  But you’ll get better at it, if you practice.
  8. Do not take things too personally.  Not everyone wants to friend you; not everyone shares your interests and some folks are more awkward and less skilled at this than you are.  The immediacy of a moment in time makes it all look more dramatic than it really is.
  9. Organize and record your contacts and your network connections.  Online, social networking sites do this for you—sort of.  Organize your information according to what you want and need, not what Facebook or LinkedIn thinks is best.
  10. Spend time and effort getting better at making friends.  Remember your mistakes and don’t make them again; seek opportunities to improve.

But don’t be so quick to close those accounts.  Experiment with what you have; try out a newer version of you, ask others how they solve what you think is the problem of excessive information that isn’t crucial to your day.  We’re all so different; that’s what makes a network strong.  Time management does figure into effective networking, and you do have to sort and pick, and choose, and sometimes even ignore.

What to Give Your Kids Before Graduation: Respect

A few weeks ago, I went to the grocery store on a weekday morning. I think I’d been listening to the Swine Flu story at great length, and was advised by some authority or another to have groceries on hand in the event of . . . well, it wasn’t clear if the point was an illness in my house or an epidemic so pervasive that we wouldn’t want to shop. Living in hurricane preparedness country, I know the drill, however.

Weekday morning traffic was light in the aisles of my local Publix, the better to overhear the cell phone conversations of my fellow shoppers, as it turned out. You know how we all start in the bakery, go through the deli and the produce, and then finish up in ice cream? In other words, you can’t get away from the people you entered with? In my case, I was doomed to shop alongside a woman who was, shall we say, highly critical of her teen-aged daughter.

I didn’t want to listen. I had no choice. She was angry, she was loud, she was blameful, she was articulate, she was disloyal; she was, I think, either entertaining or soothing herself—at the expense of her child.

I wasn’t alone in the store; we live in a small enough town. The Talker Mom was no doubt recognizable to many people, though I don’t know her (yet). No matter; from the sound of this rant, she will tell her stories time and again to many, many “friends.”

Of course it gets worse. In her shopping cart, attentively listening to the sound of her mother’s voice and words, was a two and a half year old toddler, presumably the errant teen’s younger sister. Who was learning about her world, and not getting her mothers undivided attention and gentle guidance.

Here’s what I think I heard, while trying to organize flu food. The teenager is at or near puberty, may have a mild learning disability, is frustrated and is frustrating to parents and teachers, is given to tantrums and willfulness, misbehaves, talks back, refuses to do chores and homework, skips classes, and is comprehensively unpleasant to have in the family home. And it’s her teachers’ fault. Mom’s diagnosis: bored with school, learns bad habits there, friends are unsuitable, and she got them at school, too. Oh, and may be depressed.

I know you are as appalled as I am. This is wrong on so many levels that it hurts to write about it; it was hard to listen to. But all I can think about is that Talker Mom is systematically destroying her daughter’s prospects for a future. Never mind that she built the adult-to-be with whom she is so angry—blame is not the subject. The cold hard fact is that if your parents can’t recommend you to anyone, no one is going to want to hire you. This angry parent is telling the world to stay away from trouble: her daughter. It’s a sure bet that when Mom’s anger subsides, and the hormones get back in line, and the family vacation turns out okay for a change, Mom will be happier, but the neighbors will remember that this is one babysitter not to call.

Don’t be this parent. I’m not a therapist or a parent of a teenager, but we all know how difficult parenting can be and that mother-daughter relationships have special problems, and blah, blah, blah. As a practical matter, your children learn about work from you. The world learns about your children from you. You are the source. You are essentially writing their resumes. Think about what you really want for your kids in the long run.

And consider what you really want the next time you take your children out of school for a long weekend vacation, when you complain in front of them about your miserable day and your lousy supervisor, when you violate your daughter’s trust and privacy by sharing her intimate problems with your book club, when you have one too many drinks and drive the carpool anyway, when you fail to discipline yourself and encumber the kids as a result. Or when you teach more spontaneity than planning, when you fail to budget time and money, when you talk about friends behind their back, treat others with disdain, and compete for anyone’s attention on any available platform. Your family is the first organization your child experiences. Are you the leader? If so, what are you teaching, explicitly or by example?