The Job Whisperer ®

Founding a commercial enterprise is a career destination.  A serial entrepreneur once told me that it’s time to start a business when you can’t think of anything else you would rather do.  These days, it may more likely be that an entrepreneur is born when he or she cannot find a more rewarding role in the economic world.  Not long ago very large or just very enlightened companies invested in “intrapreneurship” programs to entice talented employees in the direction of risk, creativity, service, and resource conservation, because those were thought to characterize the best instincts of successful entrepreneurs. 

That was before; this is now, and while a great many entrepreneurs are indeed risk-takers, creatives, service oriented and conservers, real entrepreneurship as a career–whatever your field of endeavor–has authentic competency requirements.  A competency is simply what you need to have mastered in order to succeed at something.

I think the main things are these, but you may think otherwise.  The important thing is to know who you are and what is going to happen when you try to exit your comfort zone, make it larger, or do something you simply never liked and don’t want to do.  If you own the company, and you want it to give you an income, you have to do stuff you hate.  You just do.  And then you get good at it and you learn to like it.

Main things:

Sales:  You have to sell something, even if it doesn’t look like sales to the person who is going to give you money.  If you decide to start a nonprofit enterprise or a social enterprise, sales is fundraising, and as the founder, you are it.  If you are going to sell a product or a service, know that you don’t really get so good that those things sell themselves.  That is a myth and and a story line in somebody’s ad campaign.  You have to learn to sell, assertively, confidently, and daily, because it is your business and you believe in it and in yourself so strongly that others trust you and your product or service, or organization.

Finance:  Once again, If you need the ATM to find out what your bank balance is, don’t start a business, really.  You need some basic money management skills, an understanding of bookkeeping, and a fundamental business language that would allow you to read articles and information about demographics and economic indicators, annual reports of public companies, and the stuff your retirement plan administrator sends you.  And you should understand it, or understand what you have to do to understand it better.  You need a go-to financial mentor whom you trust.

Technology:  You must have Excel, Word, Powerpoint, Adobe, and at minimum a layman’s grasp of file management, storage, protection, security, duplication,  and sharing.  And the specifics that may apply to the industry you want to join.  Above all, you must understand the concept of data base management, and the use of data mining, because your enterprise will have a market, and clients.

Self-management:  You have to have the ability to keep your cool when all those around you are losing theirs.  Self control and resilience go hand in hand–and you need both; the ability to soothe one’s self and stay on course is critical.  If you give in to each of your many whims (entrepreneurs usually have more than their fair share of whims), or fall victim to the need for a stiff drink right about the time you have to talk to your banker, where are you going to end up?  Your eyes have to be on your goals and on your bottom line at all times.  When things go wrong you don’t get to be indulgent; you get to be engaged in fixing whatever went wrong.

Continuous learning:  I really wanted to use the word “educatable” but it may not be an actual word; if it is one, it’s hard to read.  Here’s the point:  you have to be able to learn from everything and everybody, sort of a learning sponge.  If you are going into business because you are so set in your ways that you are unemployable, you are in trouble already.  The customer or client is going to be a tougher supervisor and harsher judge than any of those who may want to mold you into their workplace culture.

Planning: Please start with a business plan.  I love the Portlandia segment on “she’s making jewelry now.” YOu don’t go out and buy the raw materials or the office supplies and just start doing something without understanding a simple business model and the revenue stream you think is the enterprise’s potential.  What decisions will drive or prohibit your success?  The plan leads you to a better understanding of your business’s runway.  And will lead your investors (even if they are friends and family) to a better understanding of why they should trust you.

Here’s a last thought.  If you are going to start an enterprise, before you do it write out a one page response to each of the following questions:  

1.  What are your personal reasons for founding this enterprise?

2.  What are your most strongly held personal values?

3.  How will you loved ones be affected by your decision?

4.  What is your understanding of your personal resilience, and what is the toughest challenge you have so far faced in your life?

Once you have completed this exercise, you can put away your responses and you don’t have to look at them ever again if you don’t want to.  But having done the exercise, you will be in a better position to gauge your strength and conviction, and to understand what your life is likely to be as an entrepreneur.  Or, you will see the flip side–you will have thought of a better alternative to entrepreneurship, for you, and maybe just for now.

It is impossible for me to remember work before Excel. Okay, there for about a minute there was Lotus 123, but it was never like Excel. A day does not go by that I don’t plug in data, numbers, a formula or two, a list to be alphabetized or sorted by zip code. Excel is such a rational partner, and so sensible, so truthful, informative, and so easy to work with. Excel makes things fast and accurate, and if you make a mistake, it tells you right away. If you do one thing in the interest of your career this week, begin to learn how to navigate an Excel spreadsheet.

Here are ten things Excel can do for your career and actually, for your life, assuming you learn to use it properly, enthusiastically, and often:

1.  It will help you address and understand your financial reality.  No more back-of-your-notebook amounts and number of the check you just wrote to Old Navy, or ATM receipts stuffed in your wallet with the cash.  Your budget, expenditures, deposits, and the list of what you spent on whatever you spent it on is all yours.  Excel helps you figure out where all your cash is going. 

2.  It will help you manage your contacts and your network connections.  Throughout your life and career, you will meet a lot of people; many will become your friends, some your good friends.  The most successful among us manage those friendships and connections by organizing information and staying in touch with new and old friends. Birthdays?  Addresses?  Mailing list?  Who lives in Atlanta and might know someone at Coca Cola or Emory University? As the list grows, so does the need to organize it all.  Start now, before the list shrinks from neglect.

3.  It will help you with your math.  Your algebra.  Your accounting.  Your statistics. You can create a formula and try out different scenarios with different numbers. How much money will that fundraiser raise?  Well that depends on how many people buy tickets, what the tickets cost, and how much you spend on food and drink.  

4.  It will help you impress and do cool stuff for your coworkers, clients, management, and study group.  Look.  Numbers.  Fast.   It will help you get picked for project teams, initiatives and other fun and important things because you are the one who can:  Do.  Numbers.  Fast.

5.  It will help you make decisions.  There is nothing like a pivot table for analyzing data; this software can help estimate probability, cause and effect, and the rate of error or accuracy.  You can drop whole columns of numbers into a spreadsheet and find the ones that wouldn’t stand out to the human eye. 

6.  It will help you appreciate how much of life and career involves quantifying opportunity before leaping on what looks like a good one.  If you have ever bought a house to fix up and flip, ever took a job that looked great but involved a “slight” pay cut, or decided to make jewelry for sale in your Etsy store, you know exactly what I mean.

7.  It will help you hold up your end of the conversation about the family budget, with confidence,  because you will know what you spent on groceries, rent, shoes, iTunes, and drinks after work.  And you will know what everyone else spent, too.

8.  It will lead you to new conversations about results, not just about ideas that could lead to them.  It will help you plan for better results, more realistic time frames in which things might be achieved.  It will lead you to understand and help support the members of your organization who manage the money and the numbers as their profession.  

9.  It will help you make your ideas and plans real enough to touch.  And real enough to touch the hearts and wallets of those who invest in quantifiable business plans.  

10.  It will help you save enough money to do what you want to do in this life.  The magic is in the little things and the little things are what get lost when you are only thinking in big wide swaths of ideas.  Money and things that roll around in your head come in two dimensions only:  Too Much and Not Enough.  Once they are on a spreadsheet you can easily see how today’s wish can become tomorrow’s reality one cell, one formula, one worksheet, or one accounting period at a time. 

There is an eleventh thing Excel can help you with: Communication.  Cells, labels, numbers, and data turned into informational charts and graphs are much easier for many people to grasp and understand,  Not everyone listens or converts numbers to actions, but a decent pie chart can charm the daylights out of someone with a visualizer or a visual learner, which is what many many people on the planet relate to best.  

As with most things, you get out of this tool what you put into it.  Take the time to focus, learn, and practice.  Once you get the gist, and once you get the tutorial and workbooks, you still have to spend time using and expanding your use of the software.  There will come a day when you will be asked in an interview with a prospective employer if you have spreadsheet skills or if you have mastered Excel.  If you haven’t, this is not one of those things you can wing.

The answer should be, “Of course.”  

Yesterday my husband and I hosted a short workshop on Strategic Planning Basics for students.  Having only fifty minutes or so, we had to plan ahead to make the most important points, and convey what we think are the ingredients of a successful strategic plan for your life.  For me, the most memorable moment of the fifty minutes was Jim’s short explanation of financial management:

“If you get your checking account balance from the ATM, you are doing this wrong.”

So true.

In jobs and careers, we see people–not just students–get caught up in the elaborate rituals of interviews, networks, and resumes as the primary focus of creating a professional future.  But placed on a shaky foundation of overdrafts, late rent, late nights in strange places, and relationship shambles, no interview will make up for underperformance on the basics.  You have to plan to cover, and then actually cover, the fundamentals, before you do anything else.

We all have resources to mobilize and to capitalize on.  Your professional credentials are only a fraction of what you bring to a career.  Assets, resources, and attributes are the starting point for your personal plan; you have to know what you have in inventory, and  then you have to manage your inventory as the investment it represents.

Here’s what we covered in fifty minutes or so:

1.  Pay your bills on time, live within your means, purchase health insurance, get an annual physical, and maintain an organized household.  Even if your household is one fourth of a tiny student apartment, it is still your household.  Make sure it is clean, safe, and in good repair at all times, as it reflects your decisions and your choices.

2.  Think about your life as a time management exercise.  You only have a few years to build a foundation of experience and a platform of knowledge and expertise, and figure out what you want.  In the next phase are your prime earning and flourishing years, where you prepare for either your next career, if you plan to have more than one, or your retirement, if you plan to have one of those. Everyone and every life is different and your phases, plans, and priorities are your own choice.  Remember, though,  that your energy and capacity have varying limits throughout your life, and you can’t do everything all at once without taxing your strength.  Spread your plans out across your life.

3.  Make sure that all your relationships are cordial, at minimum.  Avoiding people is way more difficult than it is worth, and no one enjoys the drama that comes with people who clearly don’t care to be in the same room with each other.  You will have access to way more rooms if you are gentle with others, even if you don’t wish to be friends with them.

4.  Take an active part in the world; take risks and chances that might lead to good things for your family, your community, and your future.  You will get rejected from time to time, but if you are honorable and sincere you will be heard and remembered, and most certainly appreciated for your attempts.

5. Learn to soothe yourself and solve the basic problem when things don’t go your way.  When we can’t rest, our stress leads to dysfunction.  When you have to juggle a flaming baton along with the usual balls we all have  in play, you run the risk of sending something valuable up in smoke.  We all take on a flaming baton or two from time to time, sometimes there is no choice; stuff shows up.  The job is to solve the problem as best you can, and move forward.

On the subject of the ATM, here’s the issue:  the ATM belongs to the bank, and the info might not be accurate, reliable, or timely.  You cannot rely on anyone else to provide you with a status update on anything, though comparing notes with your chosen institutional partner may be helpful.  To be successful, you should be at least one step ahead of the question about what you have, not be the one who is asking it of anyone else.

If you are holed up in your head and sitting behind your computer answering job postings and crafting the perfect resume or cover letter, you are not actually doing much for your present or future career. Your resume, no matter how well put together is not that different from all the other resumes that show up on the desk of a hiring manager, and all those jobs you are applying for cannot possibly be right for you.

Relationships are critical to any professional who wants to succeed in a service profession—or almost any profession. The time you are spending perfecting your digital or paper image could actually be better spent showing off the more important elements of you: your friendly manner, your warm smile, your enthusiastic ideas, your genuine interest in other people. Employers don’t hire resumes, they hire people they want to be with day in and day out, nice people like you, who attract and create good energy.

Relationship building begins with an interest in others, and an awareness of how you might positively affect the lives and wellbeing of those you encounter. You have to encounter them, of course, so you have to get out from behind the keyboard and screen.

Here are five ideas for those of you who find that more challenging than you wish you did:

1. Schedule a daily (okay, maybe three times a week) walk to a place where there are people (not a library or a place where you can’t interact). That’s all; just start by going somewhere that people go.. When you get there, make eye contact with others, strike up a conversation, or just be accessible—if you are open, an extravert like me will find you and start talking about something.

2. Speak gently to someone you don’t know, every day. You don’t have to introduce yourself; you do have to be present and pleasant. The line at the grocery store, the guy next to you at the gym, the woman walking her schnauzer. They all count. Speaking gently is easier than being clever, funny, or compelling. And a lot easier on the listener.

3. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while and reconnect. Ask about his or her family, job, school, or hobbies, and listen. And don’t complain. About anything, not even the weather.

4. Volunteer on a regular schedule for something that is active and visible. Not, for example, grant writing or any kind of writing. Writing is great experience and very rewarding, but if this theme is resonating with you, you probably do enough of it. If you need ideas for active volunteering, call your most extraverted friend and ask for help.

5. Find a team game or sport to play, sign up and show up. Not Farmville.

None of this is easy, if the thing you are focused on is your discomfort, unease, or fear of looking or being somehow wrong. The conundrum is that if you are thinking of others, your head is already headed in the right direction, no matter how uncomfortable you feel.

People hire people they like or think they will like; the point of the resume is only to get you into a conversation. The resume that shouts PERFECT can be a turn-off, believe it or not; making it all that good can be experienced as highly competitive. Your efforts and your time are better spent on your friendships—creating them, building them, and strengthening them.

Good relationships are nourishing, above all, and  are destinations in and of themselves; they create and advance careers, something your carefully crafted paperwork cannot do for you.

Hi. I’m Jim Martin. My wife is The Job Whisperer. She asked me to write a guest blog this month. So, here’s what I know about jobs.

Where Should I Work. My first real job was in Maryland. I was a college student doing what today is called interning. It was winter, wet and cold. I passed stalled cars on the Beltway every day on the way to the office. The small talk at work was always one thing: the plan for two-weeks off in summer. Everyone talked about going to Florida, taking their boat, or scuba diving, or sun bathing, or fishing. As I listened to these musings and moanings every day from my fellow workers, it occurred to me, “Hey, I am from Florida. What am I doing here?” That’s when I created my first rule about jobs: Work in a place you want to be 50 weeks a year and take your 2 weeks off somewhere else.

What Should I Do for Work. I thought I wanted to be an engineer so I went to an engineering school: Georgia Tech. But while interning in the field I learned that there were thousands of unemployed engineers (this was a while back) so I decided to become a psychologist and transferred to a liberal arts college: Stetson University. My faculty advisor said I should be a math major instead because the world had enough psychologists but not enough mathematicians. So I followed his advice and got a degree in math. (Looking back I wonder how much his advice was slanted by his being head of the math department.) Of course, the prospects for a mathematician, it turned out, were no better than those for an engineer. But Stetson leaders encouraged me to attend its law school, so I did. And it seems that law and math aren’t that much different. One relates to people and property and the other relates to numbers and such, but at the heart of both are rules and logic. I like rules and logic. A lot. So, I’m a lawyer. And I help other people, clients, in dealing with those rules and logic. Sometimes they don’t understand law. But that’s okay. Some people don’t understand mathematics. But that’s why lawyers and mathematicians have jobs. Someone has to do it.

When Should I Work. When I interned in college and my co-workers talked longingly about their plans for their 2 weeks off in the summer, I wondered if it would be possible to have a job that seemed like vacation for 50 weeks a year and then leave the other 2 weeks for family vacation. In other words, what if you liked your job so much and you were so good at it that your job was all you wanted to do all the time? So instead of working 9 to 5 because you had to, you worked all the time. This developed over time into another rule about jobs: Work at a job that you like to do, are good at doing, and people will pay you to do.

The Three Circles. I passed this advice on to my children when they were in college. I said to draw three intersecting circles. In one circle list what you like to do. In another list what you are good at. And in the third list what people will pay you to do. Where the circles intersect is your career. Here’s what it looks like:

And that’s all I know about jobs.

There is still plenty of time for you to do this, so no excuses.  The approaching holidays and the end of 2011 provide you with an excellent opportunity to connect with your business associates, your old and new friends, and especially your family and extended family.

Think Professional.

For professional, I am a fan of paper cards and brief notes.  If carefully chosen for suitability and taste, this is one of those things that people really do remember for the right reasons (and will never forget if tasteless or strange).  My advice is to stick with New Year Greetings if you are not absolutely clear about what holidays your associates and friends recognize.   Write a nice note inside the card, addressed specifically to the intended recipient.

I am not opposed to letters about your family and everything you did last year.  Actually I kind of like learning about your past year, and truth be told, I think your accomplishments are the best part.  TMI is TMI though, try to stay away from discussions of body parts, money, politics, religion, arrests or scandals, and weight loss or gain.  If you did not or cannot phone your friend about any of these topics and would not be inclined to have an in-depth conversation with your entire list about the relative merits of one alternative or another on the subject, it probably is not suitable for a holiday update.

I am not a fan of the digital card.  First, I am reluctant to click on things, if they even make it through the spam filter.  Second, I don’t want to see you Elf Yourself  again, it’s been done.  To. Death.  When I am thinking about referring a client to you, or nominating you for something good, or considering you for a job I heard about, do you want the image that comes to my mind to be your cut out face on a dancing cartoon elf body?

So here are my thoughts:

1.  Go to a card, stationery, or department store and pick out something that you think looks like you, and recognizes the holiday you celebrate.

2.  Pick out a second set, for those who celebrate that which you don’t.  That is, those who you know celebrate the holiday acknowledged by the card.

3.  For the rest (or alternatively, for everyone), select a Peace or Happy New Year card.  Remember that the world isn’t either/or.  Some folks do not celebrate any religious holiday.  Some do not celebrate at all.

4. Choose nice stamps. Use the right amount of postage for the card size.

5.  Use a good pen and write or print in your best writing or printing. Do not use turquoise or other odd color ink, funny writing, or scent.

6.  Use this opportunity to organize your contacts and look up correct addresses.  Sort.

7.  Write short, nice, memorable notes, like “We miss you.”  Or, “Remember that time we all bought stocking caps and mittens and wore them all Christmas Day because the furnace broke?”

8.  For close friends and family, send a photo or two in the card, if you can, and if they are good photos in good taste.

9.  Do not solicit anything, including business, referrals, return mail, or even a phone call.  This is you saying “hello, it’s me; you are my friend,” nothing more.

10.  Make a list of those to whom you have sent the cards.  This is your holiday card list.  If you get cards from people who are not on your list, you may send a card back, if you choose, or add them to your list for next year.

Lists are good things to have; you should get into the habit of creating and culling them.  Every five years or so, start all over again, sort of like zero-based list making.  Think through the list and the individuals on it; size is not the important thing, but tenure on the list and your ability and willingness to spontaneously create the personal note matter most.

I have mentioned my friend Wendy Warman in the past; she is the owner of Smartalkers and author of Loud and Clear.  Wendy is a pretty well known and successful speech and communications coach who offers practical advice and helps people understand the communications process.

I love public speaking; I don’t remember ever being fearful of an audience, large or small, or anything involving talking.  I love to talk, which is not always a good thing (but that’s another blog).   I don’t usually experience the nerves that many highly skilled and competent speakers and entertainers experience when they head  for the podium, or even think about giving a speech.  Until one day, I did.  And oddly enough, in a really small and friendly forum my unfamiliar butterflies turned into full blown panic.  Huh?  This was weird, and not at all pleasant.

I had no idea why it happened, but I can tell you that once you know it can happen to you, it does.  I figured out pretty quickly that I was now afraid of the jitters, and not the speech or the audience; I was in a vicious circle.   And it just got worse.

I called my friend Wendy and asked for advice.  She knew, as I did, that it was no longer about the podium, but about fear of fear taking over, and she gave a me a little trick that I will now pass along to you.  This works well for any situation in which you might have an involuntary (as if there were any other kind) feeling of panic, fainting, weakness, or fear–like an interview, a meeting, or a social situation that is unfamiliar.  Stage fright is not only a player on the stage, but sometimes comes with you to the party, the boss’s office, or to the networking interview at the restaurant.  Or even to the airport, and on to the plane.

This is simple.  Push your stomach muscles forward, so that you expand your abdomen, breathing normally.  While you are doing that, repeat to your self, “I am relaxed, I am relaxed, I am relaxed.”  The expansion of your tummy gives your lungs some room to take in the oxygen you need to remain rational.  The recitation of the mantra provides specific and comforting direction to your brain.  Apparently, as Wendy explains, your body cannot do something that your mind is directly contradicting.

My personal experience is that this works well enough for a long enough interval to get you started, and the feeling of well-being helps you gain control and confidence.  If you are prepared for your gig, whatever it is, the rest is up to you.  If you are not prepared, I know why you might be anxious.

If you need more help, like good speaking skills, good planning skills, or just the mechanics of constructing information into understandable sentences that will stand you well in conversations, consider working with a coach, or join one of the organizations that provide you with practice, practice, and more practice. Toastmasters is the best known among those, but there are others.

It’s really important to be able to trust your ability to control your anxiety and its symptoms, or even to convert anxiety to simple nervousness.  Dr. Martin Seligman, an American psychologist known for his work in the areas of learned helplessness and learned optimism, hypothesizes in his book entitled Learned Optimism that it is possible (if not probable) that feelings of anxiety do not cause physical symptoms like lightheadedness, stomach tension, sweating, shortness of breath.  Instead, consider that the symptoms cause the feelings.  If that’s true, and there is evidence that it is, then all you have to deal with is getting more oxygen to your brain so that you can confront your inner bully with rational behavior.

Then, still according to Dr. Seligman, your ability to control the symptoms will cause them to stop, for the most part, as a function of your subconscious anticipated intervention.  All of this is very behaviorally oriented, and behaviorism isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.  Though my B.S. is in Psychology, and I like a lot of the behavioral theories, there are lots of points of view out there and they aren’t always in agreement.

Psychology aside, I tried Wendy’s suggestion, and it worked.  Really. Well.  And I have suggested it to others, and it has worked for them, I am told.  So don’t go around inviting a bad case of scary nerves by not being ready for your speech, interview, or meeting.  But if you get a case of nerves that feels like it might get in your way, push your tummy out, and have a quick conversation with yourself:  ”I am relaxed, I  am relaxed, I am relaxed,” and so on.

Sometimes in Interview World, things go wrong, sometimes really really wrong.  The electricity, and therefore your landline, goes out just before your screening interview.  You get stuck in traffic and become hopelessly late.  You break a heel.  You go to the rest room and a broken faucet causes water to splash your silk blouse.

Can you recover? That is the question of the day, and the answer is:

Maybe; it depends.

These are accidents and disasters taken from Real Life Stories, but not my own experiences.

You drive to an interview location, park as close as you can to the location, and as you walk toward the door in your stilettos, the clouds open and the torrential rains come.  You are now soaked to the skin.

What went wrong here?  You were not prepared, with 1.) adequate rain gear, including at least umbrella and raincoat or slicker, 2.) shoes you can run or at least walk faster in, and 3. ) you apparently ignored the black cloud on the horizon.  What can you do now?  Here we go:

Assuming there is a receptionist, ask him or her to direct you to the nearest rest room.  If you are male and wearing a suit, remove the jacket, shake it out, and don’t put it back on.  If you are female and you are wearing a suit jacket, remove it and similarly, shake it out and then make a decision about putting it on.  What you have on underneath it should guide you.  Here’s a good day to have chosen the blouse over the cami.

Dry your face (hopefully this is not a paperless restroom) and comb your hair. Towel dry it if you can, don’t worry if you can’t.   If you do encounter an automatic dryer (Yay!), give everything you can a once over.

Then smile and step back out to the reception area.  If your interviewer comments, smile and shake your head in wonder.  Then move on.

Enroute to the interview, your car breaks down.

Using the cell phone we know you have with you, you call the interviewer or organization’s central number (you would not fail to collect those in advance, right?) and cancel the interview.  You ask for the chance to reschedule, and indicate you will call after you have managed your immediate problem.

Unless you are cool as ice, do not try to manage your car problem and interview in the same day.  Do not burden your prospective employer with detailed stories of switching cars with your roommate, calling taxis, and the like.  In fact, the look on your face while dealing with such problems isn’t nice to look at, and your attitude takes a beating when a car breaks down.

Word to the wise: maintain the car meticulously, fixing problems before they become emergencies.

You broke a heel enroute to the interview.

Switch to whatever extra shoes you have in the car, even if they are your running shoes.  But let this be a lesson if they are your running shoes, place one pair of black flats in your car and leave them there.

If you have no shoes in the car, and you have time, buy a pair at the nearest mall.

If you have not entered the interview location yet, and you are  not the kind of brave soul and blithe spirit for whom this is a chance to show your composure under stress, consider rescheduling the interview (from your cell phone, a distance away from the building) due to a personal emergency.  Depending on who you are, this may be less risky for you and your objectives than trying to limp through the interview, so to speak.

You show up at the wrong location.

Call and tell the interviewer you will be late, and tell the interviewer why.  You need to ensure that the interview time is still available for you, or ask if you can reschedule if the time is not available.  If you are planning to go to the correct location, be sure you have correct and detailed directions, or a map.

If the place where you are and the place you should be are great distances apart, ponder for a moment how this happened, and what should happen now.  Usually companies provide directions and emails and the like, and you should have those with you, in digital or paper form.  Your error may not be your error, but you should always be understanding and offer to be flexible.

I once flew to New York for an interview, spent the night in a hotel, and checked in at the Company the next day, promptly.  It turned out that my interviewer thought it was a phone interview.  (I was working for a division of the Company and the interviewer was in the headquarters.) My invitation to interview specified the time, place, and names of all of those I was scheduled to meet.  I was directed to make my own travel arrangements. . . .I knew where I was supposed to be.  All you can do is be gracious, understanding. and cooperative.

A Fire Alarm goes off in the building where you are interviewing, and the interviewer doesn’t prepare to leave, though you see everyone else heading for the doors.  She tells you it’s probably just a drill or malfunctioning alarm.

I’d leave.  I’d apologize and tell her that in your tribe, alarms mean business, and you don’t want to risk your life for a great job.  I’d smile and say, “Oh c’mon, we can talk outside.”  This is actually a good time to show a little leadership; you never know.

If you get up to leave, and she doesn’t, ask her where you are supposed to go, and if it turns out to be a drill or false alarm, if you should return to this same office.

Emergencies involving light and sound are real, in my book.

Your interviewer appears to be drunk and is slurring his words, which don’t exactly hang together or appear to be relevant.  He has stopped making any sense at all.

Excuse yourself and ask either the receptionist or the nearest responsible-looking person to return to the interviewer’s office with you, explaining that the interviewer is apparently quite ill.  Explain  the symptoms, without making any assumptions about the reasons.  then excuse yourself, indicating that you will call later or the following day.  Wild, I know, but it happened.

Call later or the following day, and ask to speak with the interviewer’s boss.  Ask how he is dong, and explain who you are and why you were there, if necessary.  Do not ask about the job.  Sometimes you just can’t.

You are in the middle of an interview, when the interviewer excuses herself without providing a reason.  She doesn’t return.  A half hour passes, and then forty minutes.  No one stops by to thank you for your patience.

Okay, this one did happen to me, a very long time ago.  Apparently, this particular tribe rarely told the boss they were interviewing anyone for any job for fear of setting off a chain of risky conversations about whether the position was needed.  So my interviewer left to attend what she thought was a quick stand-up meeting, which turned into a full-blown group sit-down.

At about the forty minute mark I went to the receptionist to ask about the health of my late interviewer.  The (long suffering, I am sure) receptionist took the opportunity to get even with someone for a perceived or deliberately inflicted slight; I could see the glee as she paged the interviewer.  Who stormed into the room, glaring at the receptionist.  And at me.

I made my apologies: “I’m so sorry, I must go; wish I had more time today, but I have a commitment.”  (. . . to avoiding crazy places.  You all seem to be anything but my tribe.  I plan to use the rest of the day to celebrate my liberation from your office.)

The most important thing to remember, though is that crazy, wrong-headed, or careless,  we are all human, and stuff just happens.  Sometimes it happens for a reason.  Sometimes it happens because we didn’t prevent it.

I am one of those people who simply has to think about and plan for what could go wrong, whatever the occasion.  In my car, I have rain gear and towels, the usual parking meter change, maps, flip-flops, and running shoes.  I have, in my handbag, at this very moment, in addition to spendables and business cards, an umbrella, pair of fold-up black flats, smartphone with gps and traffic apps, nutrition bar and bottle of water, extra spectacles, teeny tiny makeup samples, writing implements and post-its.  And Advil.  Just in case of an emergency.

Recently, I interviewed someone who clearly had a lot of practice being interviewed.  In fact, it turned out, she had begun logging and maintaining her interviewing statistics:  21 phone screens, 30 in-persons, and 12 or so second interviews.  No offers, but it’s a numbers game, right?

Looking at it that way may result in treating the interview too superficially.   I observed while interviewing her that she anticipated my questions, follow-up questions, and requests for clarification.  She would lean forward and prepare her posture and expression, as if to say, “Call on me; I know that answer. Now ask me the one about the conflict resolution.”

And therein lies the problem.  An interview is not a pop quiz or oral exam, at least it shouldn’t be.  A good interview should flow like a conversation, so eagerly anticipating your next chance to speak would not be appropriate.  Appropriate behavior, even if you know and have rehearsed the best answer in the world to the question about to be asked of you, would involve at least the appearance of reflection.

Sit back, not forward, and relax.  Nod your head slightly, and look thoughtful (and reflective).  Tilt your head (okay, not that much) and say something introductory, like, “That’s an interesting question.” (Do not do this if the question was “Do you take cream or sugar in your coffee?”)

You know what I mean.  Eager though you may be, practiced though you might feel, this is not the time to raise your hand and shout “Yes, I know that one, the one about which tree I would be!  And I know my strengths and weaknesses, too!”

Practice, in Interview World, can create some unflattering dynamics that suggest you’ve been there and done that, that you think the interviewer is a robot, or that you lack a certain fresh enthusiasm.  You can be too confident.

I once had to recover from Too Much Confidence.  I realized I was sailing along but the interview for the job I wanted wasn’t going well. Fortunately for me, the interviewer took a phone call and it interrupted a rhythm that had become more of a Quick Step than the preferable Slow Waltz.  When his attention returned, I asked a question about an aspect of the company’s organizational development plans–one that required a fairly long answer.  An answer to which I listened, carefully and intently.  The rhythm and the tone of the conversation changed back to a conversation, not a sprint.  I ended up getting more interviews, and eventually the job.

We all get excited about possibilities, but you can overwhelm your possibilities with what always emerges as “I got this one; we both know it.”  It’s the conversational equivalent of tapping your foot, and it makes interviewers uncomfortable.

Breathe.  Forget the right answers.  Every company and every interview is a little different.  You have more than one weakness and more than one strength.  Instead of pulling out your Courage strength, say,” I used to think it was Courage, but lately, I’ve realized my Tenacity might be my strongest suit.  Mix it up.

Reflect.  Think about the question for a minute.  Glance skyward.  then answer spontaneously from your gut or your heart, not your head, just this once.

Pause.  Look at the interviewer and ask, “Did I explain that sufficiently? It’s a good question.” Then listen to the follow-up.

Consider more than one answer.  You might even say,”I think there is more than one answer to that question.”  (Unless, of course, the question is “What is your name?” )

It is partially true that there is a Numbers Game element to job searching and all that goes with it.  And you do need practice in order to gain confidence and overcome your nerves and nervousness.  One of the reasons, though, that passive job seekers (those who are not looking but somehow get found) seem to perform better on the Qualifying Hurdles is that they are relaxed and unrehearsed.

So, relax, and unrehearse.  Shake out the answers you used last time around, and freshen your interest in the questions, why they are being asked of you, and in who is asking.

Several years ago I had the pleasure of working with Wendy Warman, speech coach, president of Smartalkers, and author of Loud and Clear, a book about making your point and being heard.  Wendy was coaching my Stetson University MBA cohort.  The first assignment was to describe something (in my case, a party) to our group, communicating as if the group was ten years old.  I was surprised at how very very difficult this assignment was for me.

I love public speaking; I believe there may be a teacher buried deep inside me. When I was ten years old, myself, I was organizing the other ten year olds into a classroom, and teaching them math or spelling.  So you would think I might have this one; nope.

Somehow I managed to get the word “ubiquitous” into my three minute speech.  Then I realized I’d said “crudites” instead of “raw vegetables” and it just went straight downhill from there.  What the. . . ?  Apparently I could not make the adjustment to a new audience on the fly.  And frankly, on the fly in this case was  at least twenty minutes lead time, fair warning, and several good examples ahead of me in the class.  I was sort of mortified.

Making adjustments for the audience, whoever the audience is, is an important skill.  And it’s more than that–it’s a way of thinking about the needs of others,  to understand you, to not have to ask you what the heck you just said, and to come away from a conversation with you feeling that you understand them.

Last Friday’s  New York Times has a great article, How to Talk to Real People, about an Emory University program called Communicating Science.  Chemists and other scientists are taught to deliver a three minute speech about their work to several different constituencies: peers, other scientists, neighbors, and third graders.  It is worth examining the differences and applying the principles and the exercise to your own tendencies, if you operate in a profession that has a language or jargon all its own.  This means you, IT people, lawyers, accountants, HR Benefits professionals, and dozens of other people who can sound a little scary to the rest of the world.

And in the event that you are headed for an interview or networking meeting, remember that if you make what you do and what you think accessible to everyone, you will have that many more possible connections to a job just waiting for the right person.  People who don’t understand what you do (or want to do) can’t help you.  It is your job to help them understand.